Parenting can create anguish when children ignore parental directions or even take challenging attitudes when given an indication. This is something that often happens and many fathers and mothers do not know what to do about it.
In this article, we will see how to educate defiant and rebellious children so that parenting does not become a distressing process for adults and children. Also, we will see the importance of correcting this type of behavior in time.
Why is it important to correct these behaviors?
Some parents ignore the challenging behavior of their children and mistakenly think that as they grow they will leave behind these behaviors without the need for them to intervene. Nothing further from reality.
The truth is that if we do not know how to educate challenging and rebellious children, we are exposed to these behaviors intensifying as they grow, and then it will be increasingly difficult to correct these negative behavior patterns.
Ideally, we focus on correcting unwanted behaviors as soon as possible; Significant changes in behavior are more likely when children are in the early stages of social and cognitive development. If we ignore the oppositional behavior of children, then we may have to face the situation of having a teenager with markedly dissociative behavior.
There is a triad of psychological traits that begin in childhood with challenging behaviors; then in adolescence, these behaviors intensify and become known as disocial until they reach their full development in adulthood.
How to educate challenging children?
In the next lines, we will see a list of tips on how to properly educate children with behaviors of constant opposition to the norm and rebellion.
1. Discipline with affection
In general, many people think that affection only manages to spoil children, and the truth is that it is the opposite. It can be disciplined using affection as a basis, the secret lies in maintaining a proper balance between affection and authority.
2. Avoid physical punishment
When we hit children because they have misbehaved, all we do is reinforce negative behaviors in them. We give them reasons to challenge us, and we make them disobedient to get out of this dynamic of violence.
Keep in mind that when you hit a child you are not making him respect you, but fear you, and educating based on fear is never healthy for anyone. Instead of physical punishment, you can choose to take away from the child any object that is significant to him, or failing that some privilege for a while.
It is also important that you explain to the child why you are punishing him, so he will be able to internalize that the negative behavior he carried out led him to punishment and that way the extinction of such behavior begins in him. It is no use punishing arbitrarily without an explanation involved.
3. Avoid laughing at negative behaviors
A common mistake made by caregivers is to take the maladaptive behaviors of children as something funny, even to laugh at the negative behaviors that the infant presents. Although this may seem harmless in principle, it is a negative reinforcement, which will harm us.
If we take as something funny the rebellion of children, their lollipops or their ways of circumventing the rules, we will be normalizing this behavior in them, and then it will be more complicated to make unwanted behaviors disappear.
Ideally, show them that what they have done affects us, and take a serious attitude when doing so.
4. Do not miss the disrespect
Some parents or caregivers allow children to have a hostile treatment towards them and do not correct them when they raise their voices or answer them in a bad way. This type of permissive parenting is not healthy for either party.
If we do not teach children the value of respect from an early age, they will grow with the wrong idea that they have the right to express their ideas in a hostile way and that this is normal. It is about letting children see that there are adaptive ways to express their emotions, with kindness and respect.
5. Avoid comparisons
Children like to feel special, and that adults meaningful to them see it. When we make the mistake of making regular comparisons between two or more children, we are generating a sense of frustration in them. The most advisable is to focus on the virtues of each of them, without comparing.
6. Show unconditional love
The unconditional love we give to children represents a protective factor against any negative behavior they may have; The correct way to do this is through positive discipline. Embracing, showing affection verbally, and spending quality time with them.
7. Help with the routine
Routines help children maintain control over themselves, and at the same time encourage them to go on to be disciplined about the things they should do. It is recommended that together with the child we make a schedule of daily activities and we will help you to fulfill them.
8. Reward good behavior
In the same way that we should punish bad behaviors, it is important to ensure that the child knows that we are happy with his way of behaving. Prizes do not necessarily have to be objects; Telling him that we’re happy with him and showing him affection at the right time will suffice.